I love black thongs
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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