He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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