Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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