I wanna passion pit in your ass
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
3 2 1 whiskey
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
