I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
