He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
