you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize