i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize