I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
how does that bad decision feel?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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