i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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