Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
In the future we'll all be gay
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
