Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize