College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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