The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
