If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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