Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
