Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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