that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
