hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
