I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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