He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
