just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
