I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
