yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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