What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
