YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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