I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
