I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
