splinters make it hard to masturbate
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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