on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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