but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
