Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
