i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize