i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
