Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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