ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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