her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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