Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
