I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
