I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
