Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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