I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
