If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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