you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
