You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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