i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
