why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
