i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
