Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
