forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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