No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
