Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
