Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I've blown a few things in my day
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
did you just send me my own nude
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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