Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
