This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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