dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
