I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
