I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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