In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
