What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
