we made out on top of his cat.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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