It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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