real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
